so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
