that's an acceptable place to lick
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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