you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize