There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
