Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
