If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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