im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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