i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
