think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
