just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
