The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
