This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
