Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
