sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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