if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
