Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
