Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize