"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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