Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
