Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
