big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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