They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
