People in love make me want to vomit
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
This baby is an asshole
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
