if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
