I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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