I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Randomize
