Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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