Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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