Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
