He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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