I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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