At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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