so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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