six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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