i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
