There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You need a sexual gate keeper
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
