the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
