About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
