But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
my liver is dry heaving
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
