Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
