Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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