it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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