I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
