He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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