just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
