booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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