there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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