are you so shy because you have an std?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
