Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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