I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The adults are the big ones right?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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