is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
