What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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