I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
