he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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