Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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