Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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