dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize