Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
