I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
