At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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